Forevermore
by we-can-go-dutch3
Summary: It's been a year since Sawyer and Juliet got off the island and are happily living together in the city. One day, Sawyer decides to propose to Juliet. Will they live happily ever after, or does fate have a different plan for these two soul mates?


Sawyer sighed as he got into his car twenty minutes later than he had hoped. Three coworkers had stopped him on his way out of work with annoying questions that he didn't want anything to do with. Fortunately, he was finally on his way to the store to prepare for tonight.

What was about to happen, or not happen tonight still hadn't quite sunk in yet and Sawyer was trying not to over-think it. But the question continued to burn in his mind; what if she says no? For years before meeting Juliet, he believed that some people were meant to be alone, and that one of those people was himself. He shook his head trying to forget about that, and looked out the window as he waited at a red light. It was still just a normal day after work. The same traffic jams on the same highway. "Son of a bitch," he muttered to himself as a car ahead of him cut him off. Reaching towards the dashboard, he turned up the AC, then turned the radio on. He quickly changed it from Katy Perry's "Roar" to "See The World" by Gomez and tapped his thumb to the beat on the steering wheel as the traffic crawled on.

Sawyer stopped at a Trader Joes on the way home and picked up dinner for his carefully planned picnic. His stomach churned a little just thinking about tonight, but he smiled at the feeling and browsed the shelves of the grocery store. He purchased pre-made cold pasta and made sure to get Juliet's favorite Italian dressing to go with it. For dessert, he got two slices of fluffy, white cheesecake. Each slice was beautifully embroidered with red frosting and a maraschino cherry on top. Grinning, he remembered how Juliet would always eat the cake first and separate the frosting for last.

After checking out, Sawyer carried his groceries out to the car just as a huge raincloud covered the once bright sun. He frustratedly looked up at the sky as he unlocked the trunk of his Jeep Cherokee, then put the groceries in and stomped off to the drivers side, where he sat down, buckled his seat belt, and tried not to think about how this could ruin their night if it started raining during the picnic.

The car jumped to life as Sawyer looked down at his cellphone lying on the passenger seat. He picked it up and saw three missed calls and a voicemail from Juliet. He listened to it as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"_Hey James I just wanna let you know I'm working late tonight. I'll hopefully be home around 10 but it may be a bit later. There's leftovers in the fridge. Alright, I gotta go. Talk to you later, love you, bye! "_

_"_Dammit!" Sawyer banged the palm of his hand on the steering wheel. _Why now?_ He thought to himself, _I've been planning tonight for almost a month now. I should've known that this would happen._ He kept driving for a while, frustrated that stuff was already going wrong, and eventually decided to drive home and decide what to do next.

Juliet sighed, put her phone back in her pocket and looked at herself in the mirror. She absolutely hated doing this to Sawyer. She worked late at the hospital too often, but she couldn't exactly do anything about it. All she could hope was that it wasn't hurting their relationship. Juliet was lost in her thoughts until she was startled by the opening and closing of a door. Natalie came out of the changing room in her normal every day clothes, ready to go home. She opened her locker to put her lab coat in, noticing Juliet's worried expression.

"What's the matter, Juliet?" Did Sawyer do something?"

Juliet smiled, Natalie was just the person she needed to talk to. She was one of those people with the greatest advice. Additionally, being a fellow doctor, the pair had lots to gossip about. Juliet turned to look at Natalie, leaning against the counter. "No it's not Sawyer, it's me. I just feel like I never have any time to spend with him. And I... I feel like it may be hurting our relationship."

Natalie sighed and thought for a second. "Julie, you're doing just fine. That man loves you very much. I see it in the way he looks at you."

Juliet looked down, hiding her smile. "I just wish I could spend more time with him. Recently it feels like I never see him."

Natalie nodded, understanding exactly how Juliet felt. You know what? I'll take your shift tonight. You go spend time with your man. I think you need it." Natalie smiled at Juliet.

"No you don't have to do that! Natalie, you've been here all day! You go home, you need to rest. I'll be fine, really. I have Wednesday off. I'll spend time with him then." Juliet looked away for a moment to put her stethoscope back around her neck and quickly fix her hair in the mirror.

Natalie stared at Juliet for a moment, thinking. "No. You go. The hospital will be quiet tonight. I'll be alright staying here a few extra hours."

"Natalie, it's not going to happen, okay? Go home. I mean it. Doctors orders." Juliet grinned as she began walking out of the women's changing room, Natalie right behind her.

"You are so stubborn!" Natalie chased after Juliet as she walked down the hall to her patient.

After finally arriving home, Sawyer sat down on the couch with a big sigh. He quickly sifted through the mail then threw it onto the coffee table, seeing that it was all ads. He rubbed his face and ran his hands through his hair. _Stop stressing, it's all gonna work out. _He tried to tell himself it would be okay, but he couldn't relax. He was already stressed at the thought that he was about to propose to his girlfriend, the most beautiful woman in the world. The last thing he needed now was what he had been worrying about for the past month; everything was going wrong.

Sawyer sat on the couch in silence for several minutes, then got up and took a shower. While he walked into the kitchen, he thought about what he was going to do and started packing up the food for the picnic. He had to at least try to make tonight work, right? Maybe the hospital didn't really need Juliet that badly tonight. He put the pasta into a bowl and covered it with tin foil. Then, he dug through a cabinet to find the bottle of wine he had been saving for tonight. Sawyer carefully put all the food into a picnic basket, along with utensils, plates, and two wine glasses. As he did so, he caught a glimpse of himself in the living room mirror. Disappointed with his appearance, he shuffled off to his room where he tried on eight different shirts before finally deciding on a light blue button up shirt. The handsome man smirked at himself in the mirror, he was suddenly more confident about tonight. However, before leaving his room, Sawyer opened the drawer to his nightstand, and picked up the dark blue velvet box which held the ring. He opened the lid and quickly glanced at the twinkling diamond surrounded by ocean blue sapphires that reminded him of Juliet's eyes. Then, he snapped the lid shut and stuffed the box into his pocket with a sudden nervous sigh.

Sawyer brought the picnic basket, along with some blankets down to the car and put them in the trunk. As he pulled out of the driveway, he heard the radio announcer talking about chances of rain tonight. Sawyer smirked as he looked outside at the cloudless sky and turned the radio off.

Smiling, Juliet picked up the patient's clipboard and began reading though the notes. Natalie had finally given up making Juliet leave, but was still following her around, refusing to leave. After reading through the papers on the clipboard, Juliet looked up at her patient, a middle-aged woman who had been in a minor car accident. Something that wouldn't have been serious, if she wasn't six months pregnant when it happened. "Hello Mrs. Daniels, I'm Dr. Burke, I'll be your doctor while you're here." Juliet smiled at her patient, who looked at her with huge green eyes, obviously a little shaken up after the days events. "So from what I've read, I see that-" Juliet was interrupted by someone clearing their throat behind her. She spun around to see Natalie standing there, smirking, and Sawyer standing behind her in the doorway. Juliet looked at the two of them as Natalie walked forward and took the clipboard from Juliet's hands.

"I got this. I think someone wants to talk to you." Natalie smirked and winked at Juliet.

Juliet sighed at Natalie's determined tone and walked over to Sawyer, unable to wipe the smile off her face.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything," Sawyer smiled at Juliet as she lead him out of the patient's room to the hallway.

"What are you doing here? I told you I was working late."

"Yeah well..." Sawyer took Juliet's hand in his. "I had a little somethin' planned for the two of us."

"What? Sawyer, I can't leave yet I have to wo-" Juliet stopped talking when Sawyer gave her an amused look. "James..."

"C'mon Blondie. Natalie's got you covered. Don't worry, the hospital won't burn down while you're gone."

Juliet sighed and looked around at the peaceful hospital. It was true, there wasn't much going on tonight. She looked into Sawyer's eyes, "where are you taking me?"

"Now that-" Sawyer quickly kissed Juliet's nose. "-is a surprise." Sawyer smiled playfully and started walking slowly, waiting for Juliet to follow. Juliet caught up with Sawyer and waved at Natalie, who was happy as can be talking to the patient. As Sawyer and Juliet walked down the hall, they ran into Dr. Shephard, a face almost too familiar.

"Hey doc," Sawyer smirked.

Jack looked up from the notes he was writing on, "Hey you two." He smiled that all knowing smile of his. He wasn't exactly sure where the two were headed, but he had a pretty good idea. He had helped Sawyer plan out his proposal over the phone.

"Its nice to see you, Jack. It's been a while," Juliet grinned.

"Nice to see you too, Juliet." The doctors gave each other a friendly smile as Sawyer grabbed Juliet's hand and started pulling her away.

"We got somewhere to be, remember?" Sawyer smiled and gave Jack a quick look.

Jack smiled and quickly waved, then looked back down at his notes as Sawyer and Juliet walked towards the parking lot.

"Why are you dressed so nice?" Juliet looked at Sawyer, puzzled, as they walked out to the parking lot. She couldn't help but notice how handsome he looked in that light blue shirt.

"Why not?" Sawyer smirked and unlocked the car while Juliet sighed at his answer. She sat down in the passenger seat and took off her lab coat, revealing a yellow, knee-high sundress, then took the clip out of her hair to let her blonde curls bounce around her shoulders.

"I hope I look alright," she glanced at Sawyer, who attempted to hide the fact that he had already been staring at her.

"You look...stunning." Sawyer beamed at his girlfriend a second longer before starting the car and backing out of the parking spot. _Oh god, she looks beautiful, _Sawyer thought, suddenly nervous all over again for tonight.

Blushing from the compliment, Juliet looked out the window and thought for a while. As Sawyer turned onto the highway, she asked, "really Sawyer, where are we going?"

"I already told you, I can't tell you", Sawyer grinned. Juliet gave him a look. "Relax, Juliet. We're going somewhere for dinner. But that's all I'm tellin' you."

Juliet sighed then smiled at Sawyer. "Well wherever it is, I hope the food is good. I'm starving!"

"Good." Sawyer stared ahead at the road, refusing to say anything else.

Juliet looked out the window, smiling. How had she been lucky enough to find a guy like Sawyer? Not many of her friends had men in their lives who would randomly take them out to dinner. She had to admit, it was pretty sweet of him. Sawyer was a special guy. Juliet turned her head and looked over at him, then ran her hand through her hair, thinking. Sawyer noticed her gaze and looked back at her.

"What are you lookin' at, cutie?" Sawyer was more nervous than ever. It took everything he had not to nervously tap his foot on the floor. He had to act normal, or Juliet would definitely know something was up. He quickly looked back at the road and tried not to think about it too much. Juliet must have noticed his worried expression because she reached over to his thigh where his hand was clenching the fabric of his jeans and held onto his hand.

"James, what's wrong?"

"Nothin', Blondie."

"You seem worried."

"It was just a long day at work." Sawyer was still looking towards the road, avoiding Juliet's gaze.

"What happened there?"

"Oh nothing, just the usual, stressful things."

Juliet frowned. "Why is it so stressful? I thought work was going well." Sawyer turned off the highway and onto an exit. Juliet looked around. "Sawyer, isn't this the wrong exit?"

"Nope."

"But this is the exit for the park."

"Yes it is."

Juliet looked at Sawyer, confused, as they pulled into an empty parking lot surrounded by trees. "Why are we here?"

"Well I told you I was taking you to dinner, right?" Sawyer got out of the car and walked over to the passenger's side, opening the door for Juliet.

"James, wha- what is this?" Juliet jumped out of the car.

"What? A guy can't take his girl out to dinner?"

"Well, of course he can but... here?"

Sawyer frowned. "I thought it would be nice to get out of the crowded city for a while."

Juliet looked around and took in the sights and sounds of the park. It really was a nice place. The flowers were in full bloom everywhere you looked, the sun was shining through the trees as it began to set. "You know what? I like it." Juliet smiled contentedly.

Sawyer walked around the car to the trunk, grinning. "I thought you would." He opened up the trunk and pulled out the basket full of food and blankets.

"Need help?" Juliet asked.

"No I got it." Somehow Sawyer managed to carry everything in one hand, and was still able to hold Juliet's hand in the other. "You ready?"

"I guess so," Juliet smiled and was about to start walking when she caught Sawyer's gaze. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment.

"You look beautiful tonight, Juliet," Sawyer couldn't take her eyes off her. The way the golden glow of the setting sun was hitting her face lit it up perfectly. Especially after she blushed slightly from the compliment.

"Well thank you, handsome." Sawyer took a step towards her, wrapping his free hand around her waist and pulling her towards him. Juliet looked up into his eyes as he kissed her delicately on the lips. She softly kissed him back and put her hand on his cheek, closing her eyes.

Sawyer could've kissed her soft lips all night, but instead slowly pulled away, smiling at Juliet.

"You ready for dinner?" he said quietly.

"Yes," Juliet stared into his eyes a second longer, then started walking, Sawyer walking beside her. "Where are we going for the picnic?"

"I'm not sure. I figured we'd walk around and find a nice spot," Sawyer replied.

"Thats fine with me," Juliet smiled. She had never told Sawyer this, but she loved when the two of them did things like tonight; random and unplanned. She loved how simple he was. The two of them walked down a path that seemed to go on for a while through the sparse forest until they came to a clearing surrounded by tall trees and covered in yellow flowers that matched the color of Juliet's dress.

"How does this spot look?" Sawyer asked.

"It looks perfect," Juliet smiled.

Sawyer put the basket down and began unfolding the orange and red striped blanket. With the help of Juliet, he spread it out on the ground and the pair sat down on it facing each other.

"What's for dinner, James?" Juliet asked.

"A few of your favorite things." Sawyer smirked and opened up the picnic basket. He started pulling things out and laying them on the blanket.

"Mmmm," Juliet smiled and looked at the food, "this _is _my favorite, how did you know?"

"I know everything," Sawyer smirked at her as he scooped pasta on her plate and handed her the dressing. Next, he brought out the bottle of white wine, also one of Juliet's favorites.

Juliet couldn't stop smiling at Sawyer. She sighed happily at him, "Sawyer, thank you for doing this for me. You were right. I really needed some time away from the hospital and just... everything."

"I couldn't agree more. The world has just been getting a little too crazy lately. I can't keep up with it most of the time," Sawyer frowned a little as he poured wine into two glasses and handed one to Juliet.

Juliet took the glass and looked away for a moment.

"Somethin' wrong Blondie?"

"It's just- I feel like I am working all the time and we never get any time together. And I-"

"We're spending time together now."

"I know, and I'm so glad that we are but-"

"Juliet, look, all that matters is that we're together tonight. We've both been really busy lately, but that stuff happens. Lets just forget about the past right now."

Juliet smiled, relieved that Sawyer didn't want to talk about their recent lack of bonding. "You know what? Cheers to us," she said as she raised the wine glass.

Sawyer tapped his glass to her's and they both took a sip. "Cheers to us," Sawyer repeated. The pair ate in silence for several minutes. Sawyer was, once again, worrying about every darn way tonight could still go wrong. Fortunately, however, it was going very well so far. But he couldn't shake that feeling that it wouldn't end that way. Sawyer looked over at Juliet who was finishing up her pasta. "You ready for dessert?"

"Yes, I sure am," Juliet smiled. Sawyer took out the two slices of cheesecake and put one on Juliet's plate. She smiled when she noticed what kind of cake it was, and took a bite, purposely eating the cake first and saving the frosting for last. "So what happened at work today?" Juliet asked.

"You know, the usual," Sawyer said, looking down at his food, "We've been starting on a new project and so far it's been a little stressful." This wasn't a total lie. They had been starting on something new at work, but it wasn't something he needed to worry about at all. Sawyer just needed an excuse for being so anxious tonight.

Juliet frowned a little, concerned about how worried Sawyer seemed. She finished her cake, put her plate down, and moved across the blanket so she was sitting right next to Sawyer and leaned against him, smiling up at him. "You don't need to worry about it right now."

"No, I certainly don't," Sawyer beamed down at Juliet and put his arm around her, supporting her back as she leaned into him more. She gave him a mischievous look and fell backwards so she was lying down, and pulled him on top of her. He barely had time to adjust his body before she was kissing him. He closed his eyes and kissed her, already swept away into his own little world.

The sun was setting over the meadow and cast a magical orange glow that couldn't be captured with even the best camera. Sunlight seeped through the rows of Aspen trees surrounding the meadow. The air was warm and the birds were calling out to each other as the sun set lower but glowed brighter. It was a whimsical night in the park. So whimsical, however, that neither Sawyer or Juliet noticed the light slowly disappearing as a massive, dark grey storm cloud slowly covered the last light of the sunset.

As the sky darkened, Sawyer began to worry about when he was going to ask Juliet. But for the moment, he tried not to worry about it. A warm sensation filled his body as Juliet kissed him down his neck. He kissed her on the forehead and let his lips linger there for a moment. They were both breathing hard. Sawyer knew he could probably take this all the way, but he didn't need to. He was happy with what they were doing now. Happy to finally be spending time with her but he still had to wonder if she felt the same way. _Crack! _Sawyer's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a crackle of thunder, followed by a downpour of rain. "Son of a-" Sawyer looked up at the sky, confused. "When did that happen?" Juliet started laughing and Sawyer looked down at her. "Shit! Our stuff!" He stood up and began packing up the dishes.

"Sawyer!" Juliet grabbed his arm. "Just leave it for now, the stuff's already soaking wet anyway." Sawyer looked at her. Her dress was already dripping with water and her hair was plastered to her head. They instantaneously started cracking up.

"C'mere you," Sawyer grabbed her and lifted her up, swinging her around in circles as the thunder rumbled again. Juliet shrieked with laughter and held onto Sawyer, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"This is crazy!" She yelled, still laughing. Today was turning into one of the best days of her life. She felt like she was on top of the world. Could it get any better?

Sawyer put her down, but kept his arms tightly wound around her waist. They looked into each other's eyes for the longest time, rain dripping down their faces. Sawyer realized that this was the perfect moment. _This was it. _He pushed away every nervous feeling he had and began kneeling down. He took Juliet's hand in his, looked up at her shocked face, and began his unrehearsed speech. "Juliet, a few months ago, I found myself thinking about how much I love you. As a person, as a friend, and most importantly, as my girlfriend. And then, the craziest thought popped into my head. I thought; what if I asked her to marry me? And I barely had to think about it because I already knew that that was the right thing to do. That this, what I'm doing right now, is something I am doing, with out any regrets or second thoughts." He smiled at her and reached into his pocket for the ring, pulling out the blue velvet box. "So..." He opened the box, revealing the sparkling diamond ring. "Juliet", he said, butterflies flocking through his stomach and rain dripping down his face as he held up the ring, "Will you marry me?"

Juliet was stunned for several seconds. She couldn't believe he had just proposed to her. But she already knew her answer. She had known her answer for a very long time. "Yes! Yes, of course!" Juliet's smile stretched across her face.

Sawyer stood up and pulled her into his arms. A few tears had escaped from his eyes and were running down his face, luckily undistinguishable from the rain drops. "I love you, I love you so much," Sawyer hugged Juliet tighter if that was even possible. She leaned back in his arms to look him in the eye.

"I love you too," She said, and kissed him. Sawyer kissed her back as she ran her hand through his wet hair, then pulled away, smiling. They both looked down at the ring, and Sawyer took Juliet's hand in his and gently slid it onto her ring finger.

"Perfect fit," he said.

"It's beautiful," she said back, starting to cry. Sawyer kissed her again, the rain pouring down on them. Juliet shivered slightly in his arms. Something about it reminded him of their time together on the island, when they were caught in the rain in the middle of the jungle. Sawyer smiled at the thought and suddenly, he was remembering everything about his life with Juliet. The first time he looked at her, their first kiss, moving in together, dancing in the kitchen at three in the morning, holding hands, waking up in each other's arms. It had been the happiest four years of Sawyer's life. More memories popped back into his mind. It had been so long since he had thought of these things, it was almost like they had never happened. Especially the submarine, finally getting to go home, the look on Juliet's face when she found out about it, the promises, the smiles, starting a new life in the real world, and then suddenly, right now, a day that Sawyer would remember for the rest of his life. Sawyer looked down at Juliet, her blue eyes seemed electrified as they reflected the gray sky.

"You cold, Blondie?"

"Yeah a little bit."

Sawyer rubbed her shoulders. "Let's get back to the car to warm you u-" Sawyer was interrupted as Juliet pulled him towards her and kissed him hard on the lips. Sawyer kissed her back, putting everything he had into that one kiss until she shivered again. He pulled away. "C'mon lets grab the stuff and go back to the car. I don't want you getting sick."

"Alright," Juliet smiled at him and walked over to the stuff, picking up the soggy blanket. Sawyer grabbed the basket and started walking back to the car with Juliet.

When they got back, Sawyer found his sweatshirt in the backseat and handed it to Juliet. "Thanks," she whispered. The sweatshirt was almost long enough to be a dress on her so she used it to replace her drenched sundress. She changed and then quickly sat down in the passenger seat. Sawyer sat down in the drivers seat and glanced at her while he turned the car on, the heat blasting. She looked almost irresistible in his sweatshirt. He forced himself to tear his eyes away from her while he backed out of the parking spot. "James, wait."

"What is it?" Sawyer looked at her. She reached towards him and put her hand on his cheek.

"I love you."

"I love you too," Sawyer looked at her, trying to take a mental picture of this moment. Then, he leaned towards her and kissed her, reaching across the car so he could wrap his arms around her waist. Then, he pulled her from the passenger seat to his seat. She laughed as she hit the car horn, jumping a little at the sudden noise. Sawyer smirked and pulled her onto his lap, "Good one, Blondie."

"Thank you, I try," Juliet smirked and wrapped her arms around Sawyer's neck. "James, lets stay her all night," she grinned.

Sawyer smiled at her then looked behind them at the backseat. "Wanna sleep back there?" Sawyer said, raising his eyebrows and making Juliet laugh.

"Yes I do," Juliet laughed again as they squeezed between the two front seats and clambered into the back seat. Sawyer lay the seat backs down so the back of the car resembled a bed.

"How's this?" He asked.

"It's perfect," Juliet smiled as she too made her way to the back seat. Sawyer grabbed the dry blanket from the back of the trunk and wrapped it around her after she sat down next to him. She lay down, snuggling into it, then held it open with her arm raised. "There's room for two. Would you like to join me?" Juliet smirked.

"I'd love too." Sawyer laughed and lay down next to Juliet. She wrapped her arm and the blanket around him. Sawyer folded his arms around her and pulled her closer. They laid there together, listening to the rain pouring onto the roof of the car.

"Sawyer, can I ask you something?" Juliet broke the silence after a few minutes.

"Anything."

"Earlier today, when you seemed worried, that wasn't about work was it?" Juliet looked at Sawyer. Sawyer blushed and looked away.

"No... No it wasn't." Juliet smiled and leaned her head on Sawyer's shoulder.

"You're so cute," Juliet laughed a little then yawned. Sawyer kissed her on the forehead. Having Juliet in his arms felt so right. He couldn't imagine spending his life with anyone else. He felt like the luckiest man alive to have her and he would never let her go. Nothing, no matter how bad, would take her away from him. He looked down at Juliet who was already starting to fall asleep. She looked so peaceful; her face was like an angel's as she slowly drifted off. Sawyer smiled and kissed her forehead, one last time, before also laying his head down. Almost instantly, he was falling asleep. With Juliet in his arms, it was the perfect end to a perfect day.

The sun was shinning on Sawyer's face when he woke up. He smiled and stretched his arm out, reaching for Juliet. When he didn't feel her there, he opened his eyes and realized he was on a bed. In his bedroom. He sat up, confused. He was in the bedroom, in the Dharma house. The one he shared with Juliet until she- "Oh no..." Sawyer jumped out of the bed, tears already forming in his tired eyes. "Juliet!" He desperately yelled her name, although he knew there would be no answer. _It was a dream. It had all been a dream_. _Juliet was... dead_. Sawyer collapsed on the floor and put his hands over his face. _It was all just a stupid dream! But it seemed so real! _Sawyer was crying now. Reality had sunk in and it felt like he had been thrown off an eleven story building. I_ should be dead, not her. I should be dead and Juliet shouldn't. Why did it have to be her?! _More and more things started to make sense as Sawyer remembered everything. Then, like a strike of lighting, a pain shot through his head. "Ouch!" He sat down and leaned against the bed frame, as he clenched his fist in one hand and squeezed his forehead with the other.

"Sawyer?" He heard a knock on the door and then Jack walked in, not waiting for an answer. "You alright?" He noticed Sawyer sitting on the floor in pain. "You hit your head pretty hard. You've been out for a few days. How do you feel?"

"Get out of here, Doc," Sawyer moaned.

"I just need to make sure you'll be alright."

"I'm fine! Just leave me alone!" Jack noticed the tears drying on Sawyer's face and sighed, remembering how much pain Sawyer must be feeling right now that wasn't just physical pain.

"Alright, just tell me if you need anything," Jack said in a quieter voice as he walked out of the room. Sawyer watched him leave and as soon as Jack disappeared behind the door, tears began stinging Sawyer's eyes once again. He suddenly remembered a thought he had in his dream; _nothing, no matter how bad, would take her away from him. _That was the last straw for Sawyer. He stood up quickly, dizzy at first, but he ignored it and walked towards his closet. He opened the door quickly and let it bang against the wall. Then, he shoved the clothes on hangers to the side and sat on the floor, reaching for the stash of alcohol he kept in his closet for times like this. He grabbed a bottle of his strongest vodka and ripped the cap off. Then poured it into his mouth like he hadn't drunk for days. The relief was almost instant. He leaned against the wall and drank more. He drank and drank until he finished that bottle, then started on a new one. _I never even got a chance to say goodbye to her, _he thought, _I found her and I thought he had her, but then she was gone quicker than she was found. _

Sawyer finished another bottle and threw it against the wall. The glass shattered. Sawyer drank for so long, and so deeply, that he felt like he was drowning. From the emotional, or physical pain, he didn't know. But he didn't care. It was all the same to him. He flailed his arm around in frustration, and knocked a shirt off its hanger. It fell onto his lap. Sawyer looked down at it and memories came flooding back to him. It was the shirt Juliet wore the night before she died. The night they danced around the kitchen until three in the morning, listening the The Beatles' Abbey Road album; Sawyer's favorite album. And before that, Juliet had made Sawyer his favorite dinner, even though he was two hours late coming home from work. That was the night Sawyer knew that Juliet was the one. The one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and he decided he was going to ask her to marry him some day. As soon as he found the courage. The memories sent a chill down his spine and he held onto the shirt, hands trembling. He slowly stood up, dizzy at first, but he used the wall to steady himself. Sawyer stumbled across the floor and sat down on the bed with a loud thump. Then, he lay down and curled up on the bed, burying his face in Juliet's shirt. Tears stung his eyes as he breathed in the perfume scent still on the shirt. It made him think of his dream. _Too good to be true_, he thought as he recalled his vivid dream. Or was it a nightmare? He wasn't sure what it was, but he wanted, _needed, _to go back to that place. Even if it wasn't real, at least Juliet was there. Sawyer shut his eyes and tried to fall asleep. He lay there for a few minutes, which might as well have been a few years. Time moved like an glacier in the real world, which was about as cold as a glacier too.

Sawyer's thoughts wandered. He thought of everything, but mostly he thought of the field of yellow flowers in his dream, the sweet scent of the flowers, and slowly, he drifted off. At first, there was nothing, just blackness, but then he started feeling the heat of sunlight on his face. The first thing he noticed was the smell. It was sweet and botanical like Juliet's perfume. He started to open his eyes but closed them again because it was too bright at first. Then he moved his hand up to his face, a little more conscious now, and shaded the light from his face. He opened his eyes and glanced around, squinting, and there she was, blue eyes and wide smile, staring back at him.

"Hey sleepy head." Sawyer couldn't believe his eyes.

"J-Juliet?"

"Yes, it's me, James," Juliet grinned, "How'd you sleep?"

"I-I," Sawyer sat up quickly. "Am I dreaming? I thought I was-"

Juliet looked at Sawyer, frowning for a moment, then the smile quickly returned to her face,"of course you're not, silly," Juliet laughed and pulled Sawyer towards her for a kiss. Sawyer kissed her, happier in that moment than he ever thought possible, but then he stopped.

"Sawyer...? What's wrong?"

"It's just-," Sawyer looked away for a moment. He was so confused. What was real? What wasn't? He thought this was a dream but it seemed so real. Every touch, every smell, and every sight. But if this was real, then what was it when he woke up in the Dharma house? That felt real too. His thoughts were like a puzzle with half the pieces missing. A puzzle you could never solve. Sawyer looked back at Juliet and his eyes filled with the sunlight that poured into the car, lighting up her face. Her expression still looked worried and confused. She put a hand on Sawyer's shoulder.

"Sawyer? Why do you look so stressed?" Sawyer gave her a reassuring smile.

"It's nothing, just a strange dream I had. Everything's alright, Blondie." Juliet smiled a little but still looked worried so Sawyer kissed her, more passionately this time. "Everything's alright as long as I got you." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into an embrace. She hugged him back. "I love you," he said quietly.

"I love you too," Juliet smiled as she rested her head on his shoulder, but was still confused. She didn't understand why he was suddenly acting like this, but she wasn't complaining.

Sawyer and Juliet held onto each other for a few more moments until Juliet kissed him on his cheek. Sawyer looked at her, smirking. She was still wearing his big sweatshirt and her hair was a frizzy mess from the rain. However, she still looked beautiful. Juliet noticed him staring at her, amused, "we're a mess," she laughed.

Sawyer nodded in agreement, "you ready to go home?"

"Yes," Juliet smiled.

"Alright, home it is." Sawyer gave her one more kiss before climbing up to the front seat. He started the car as Juliet sat next to him in the passenger seat. Looking out the window, Sawyer noticed that the rain had stopped, but the trees surrounding the car were still dripping with last night's rain. Glad to be inside, dry and warm, Sawyer held onto Juliet's hand as he drove out of the parking lot and smiled to himself.He might not be exactly sure where they were now, or where they might go in the future, all he knew right now was that he was with Juliet and that was all that mattered.


End file.
